In Others' WordsIn Others' Words

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Getting to Know You

Who are you?
Now, put that question in the context of being a late-in-life mom, and then answer it.
Who are you?
Why are you a mommy-come-lately? Did career choices delay starting a family? Did infertility? Divorce?
Are you a first-time mom or are you a "repeater" like me? My children are ages 21, 18, 16, and 4. That's 12 lo-ong years between my third and fourth child.
What are the blessings you experience because you are in your thirties or forties?
What are the struggles you face because you are older?
What advantages does your child have because her mom is not 23 years old? Is older really wiser when it comes to mothering?
What are the disadvantages your child faces? (Gotta' be realistic.)
As I communicate with other late-in-life moms, I find we have a lot in common--and yet we have our own distinct story. I'm eager to hear how life unfolded for you and what you've learned along the way.
As I tell my story, I invite you to share yours with me. Go ahead--click on that comment button and tell me about yourself. Not sure where to start? Pick one of the questions I just posed.
I'm hoping this column becomes more of a dialogue than a monologue.


At 2:37 PM, Blogger pjrude said...

Hi Beth --
Thanks for creating this blog. I've been looking around for something like this, something aimed at "mommies-come-lately," but this is the first I've found.
I am 38 and have a ds age 2, and am expecting again, due this summer. During my 20s, I wanted to be married, but just didn't meet the right guy, and pursued a career as an editor instead. But at 29 I met my wonderful husband, and we were married when I was 30. The plan was to wait a couple of years, then start a family ... but God had other plans. I didn't get pregnant until I was 35 and was almost 36 when our son was born.
Now I stay home with our son, and plan to continue being a stay-at-home mom for the forseeable future.
I suspect I would have had more energy as a younger mom, but I think I appreciate the experience of being a mom more now. I have done a lot of other things in life, and I don't feel like I'm missing out. I do miss the luxury of having much time to myself (and time with dh), but I know that this intense time with a small child will last but a few years.
Thanks again, and I hope to hear more from you and other moms like us.

At 12:46 AM, Blogger Paula said...

I'm not a mommy come lately, but my hubby is a dad come lately. (We have a stretch in years between us. I was once told I caught the church's most eligible bachelor. Ha ha.) Anyway, he was forty when we married and 49 when our last child was born. Then his brother had his first child the month he turned 50!

Great site! I'm going to tell my sil about it!

At 9:21 PM, Blogger mommy_of_lots said...

I love the concept of your new blog...and what a cute name for it!!! Reading through your writings, I do so much identify with your thoughts on the lives of "older moms."
We're now walking down a new path in our home. Our Baby Sarah turned two last week (how did that happen so fast???), and our first grandbaby should arrive in November (with the second to follow in late February/early March). No empty nest for us!
We're so blessed by God's goodness to us. Looking forward to reading more soon.

At 11:18 AM, Anonymous kebmom said...

Thank you, Beth, for creating this site and blog! I am 36 and a mom to two DD - ages 10 and 7. I just found out...yesterday...that I am pregnant with #3. I am dealing with a husband who is blaming me since I always wanted another child, and he did not. I had accepted we were not going to and that I was getting too "old" and things in life were getting simpler. No, I didn't "trick" him...but did make make the honest error of forgetting that I was off the pill during an unexpected alone-time with my hubby. My husband agreed to since it was costing us $48/month and was going to look into a vasectomy. He had been out of town, we hadn't been intimate for weeks (maybe months), and it never occurred to me after 7 years of being on the pill that I'd forgotten I no longer was...until the next day. I am bouncing between being devastated and wanting to turn back the clock to being slightly intrigued with the idea. Our daugthers will love an addition, but they are so old and independent now. I feel for my husband and the fact he is devastated and stressed by this. We've just down-sized our previous vehicle, planned and booked a Disney trip for our kids, and I am working on finding a better job to contribute more financially so my husband is not so stressed. I need all the support and encouragement and answers I can find for a Mommy-Come-Lately! Thank you, thank you! I know God will help us through, but I pray that my husband finds his love for us again and can accept this. I don't want him to resent me or this baby. Thanks for the support. Can't wait to get your book!


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