Friday's List for Late-in-Life Moms

10 Ways to Encourage Self-Reliant Behavior

Last Friday, I listed reasons 1-5. Today I'll finish the list.

6. Ask your child if he'd like to learn something. "What would you like to learn about cooking, washing windows or cleaning tools in the garage?" You might be surprised! But this single question offers a wonderful opportunity to build on your child's own interests.

7. Focus on specific tasks. Identify what your child can do now, and then look ahead to what he'll be ready to attempt at the next stage. This allows your child to build new skills into what he already knows.

8. Increase each child's level of responsibility. Consider your personal comfort levels as your child adds new areas of responsibility. Follow your personal parenting time line, but continually increase each child's responsibilities.

9. Support your child as he learns. If he is going to take out the garbage every morning before school, he might need to learn how to set an alarm clock that will wake him up five minutes earlier. If he has several tasks to complete on a weekend, show him how to make a list.

10. Remind your child of new areas of competence. After a child has successfully learned something new, ask, "What did you learn from this?" Remind the child about his new areas of competence.

~Mary Manz Simon
Condensed from "The Year-Round Parent"
From Lists to Live By: The Third Collection

Friday's List for Late-in-Life Moms

10 Ways to Encourage Self-Reliant Behavior

Part 1 (1-5)

1. Help your child develop cofidence. When approaching new tasks, your child needs to feel a sense of confidence. The praise you offer consistently, specifically, and honestly will help your child begin new efforts with a sense of confidence.
2. Present your child with opportunities. He is continuing to develop new capabilities, better judgment, and increased skills that can be adapted and applied in a variety of settings.
3. Admit that you make mistakes. If your child only sees you as "perfect," she may feel she can't ever be like that. Your child wants to be like you. Your are the most important role model. Let your child see the authentic you.
4. Have realistic expectations. A child will not make the bed perfectly the first time. He will need assistance and understanding before the bed looks neat. He may need additional time to gather his soccer gear before the first practice. Adjust your expectations to fit your child.
5. Teach your child the value of learning. Build rewards into a task. For example, a child who clips food coupons from the newspaper and organizes them might earn a percentage of the mony saved.

~Mary Manz Simon

Condensed from "The Year-Round Parent"

From Lists to Live By: The Third Collection