Their word, my word

Photo by sallydell/istockPhoto.com

So the wordsmiths over at Oxford University Press chose their 2009 Word of the Year. They announced their decision Nov. 17 -- drumroll, please--and the word is: unfriend.

Unfriend is a verb that means to remove someone as a friend on a social networking site, such as Facebook.

I had lots of fun over on The Writing Road blog talking about other words that were in the running for OUP's 2009 Word of the Year. Funny thing is, I pick a Word of the Year too. However, my reason for selecting a word has nothing to do with it's popularity the previous 12 months.

Nope.

About five years ago, I abandoned New Year's Resolutions. The whole list thing--I failed that. I usually lost my list of good intentions by the end of January.

Then I read an article--and I so wish I could remember who wrote the article so I could give much-deserved credit where it is due. The author talked about focusing on a word for one year. 365 days. Living out that word as your theme for the year.

Simple theory. I liked it.

And so, after mulling and pondering and praying, I've selected words each year. So far, my words have included:

1. gratitude
2. content
3. simplify

For 2009, my word was forgiveness. To be honest, I asked God if I could trade that word in for another one. He ignored my suggestion. And so, I've wrestled with the heart-wrending truths of forgiveness for the past 11 months.

I've re-discovered that I am not naturally a forgiving person--and that young children are. I've discovered that forgiveness is a choice--again and again and again and again and again and again. You get my point. I've spent hours on my face before God wrestling with the who and the what and the how of forgiveness.

That's not bragging. That's confession.

And guess what? I already know what my word for 2010 is.

Forgiveness.

Yep.

I've got miles to go before I understand and live out forgiveness on a daily, breathe-in-breathe-out basis. I find that my focus is off of "them" and on me right now.

When you think about it, their word--unfriend--and my word--unforgiveness--are related.

Gotta' think about that. But I've got 13 months, don't I?

Signs

I was on the phone a lot yesterday afternoon.

Consequently, Christa watched a bit too much television. Not the first time that happened. If the child has any emotional problems, it will probably be related to the amount of children's programming she's been exposed to.

I should start saving for that expense now, I guess.

Now, in my defense, the phone calls were important ones.

Really.

About two-thirds the way through the second phone call, Christa walked up to me, holding up a 3x5 index card. On it, she had written: I need time with my mom.

Okay, then.

Let the guilt begin.

I confess, I did not immediately get off the phone.

But, once I wrapped up my very important conversation, I gave Christa what she needed: time with me.

I am thankful Christa, like all my other children, is extremely forgiving of my mommy-mistakes. The minute I was available to her--she was ready to spend time with me. She didn't say, "Too late, Mom. You missed your chance!"

That's why I believe I've learned more about forgiveness and God's grace from my children than from anyone else.

May I be like a little child ...

And next time, I hope I don't need a hand-written sign to tell me what my child needs from me.