Filling the Tank

I know my recent illness took a major toll on me.
And I am realizing more and more that it took a major toll on my six-year-old too.

A mere two days into my illness--when I swore my body was imploding--Christa colored a card for me. She drew a beautiful multicolored heart on the front--all purples and pinks and reds, with a smiley face in the center. Inside, she wrote: I miss our time together.

At that point, I'd only been missing in action for 36 hours. We had no idea that it would be weeks and weeks before I'd be a functioning mommy again.

About three weeks later, I was able to stagger downstairs and lay on the couch during the day. At least then I could be near Christa in the afternoon and evening when she was home from school. Every night, Christa and I would go to bed at the same time--8:00 PM. Rob would tuck us in bed together. It was another way that she could feel close to me. Usually I fell asleep before she did.

Now it's all about hugs. Christa will come up to me many, many, many times a day and say, "I need a hug."
My reply? "Anytime."

Christa wants a hug? That's what I'm here for--to hug her. To reassure her. To let her know I missed all our times together too.