Thoughts on Motherhood

With thanks to one of my favorite mom-writers, Erma Bombeck:

• It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

• Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

• No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.

• Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

• The art of never making a mistake is crucial to motherhood. To be effective and to gain the respect she needs to function, a mother must have her children believe she has never engaged in sex, never made a bad decision, never caused her own mother a moment's anxiety, and was never a child.