Going Around the Block Again

Nobody ever warned me how much effort is involved in being a mom.

Maybe other more experienced moms--including my own mom--realized that, no matter what they said, they could never prepare me for the demands of children. Or maybe they just chuckled to themselves and said, "She'll find out--one of these days, she'll find out!"

When I learned I was most-unexpectedly pregnant again at 41, I did know how demanding, exhausting, challenging--and yes, rewarding--motherhood is. I'd already "mostly" raised three kids. And, one of my first thoughts was, "Can I do this again?"

While there are lots of different mothering styles, there are some things that are not optional. Being a mom means being available. Being a mom means being tired. Being a mom means having your heart ache whenever your child is hurt. Being a mom means considering someone else more important than yourself. It can't be all about me, me, me when I have a young child to nurture and discipline.

Some days I just don't want to. (I know, I sound like a two-year-old.)

And then Christa says something like, "You know what I like, Mom?"
And I ask, "What do you like, Christa?"
And she says, "I like you."

And it's worth it.

I'm learning that it's not so much about me or about Christa. It's about us. It's about developing a relationship with my five-year-old that will flourish right through the 'tween and teen years.