In Others' WordsIn Others' Words

Monday, November 06, 2006

Late-in-Life Dads

My book BABY CHANGES EVERYTHING: Embracing and Preparing for Motherhood after 35 (Revell 2007) includes a chapter for men that's titled "Don't Forget Dad." It takes two to tango--and my husband Rob was a major part of my Mommy-come-lately experience.,

After finding out I was pregnant again at forty-one, I spent the next four to six weeks grapplng with that reality. I confess, I didn't think much about how Rob felt--even as I expected him to support me through every crying jag and every bout of morning sickness.

But as the nausea dissipated, I remembered Rob's life too was affected by our unexpected blessing. I finally looked at him and asked, "How are you feeling about this?"

That late-night conversation was the first of many as we began embracing our lives as late-in-life parents.

Even as I adjusted to my life as a Mommy-come-lately, I needed to remember Rob had his own reactions and concerns to becoming a father later in life. I stopped talking about all my emotional ups and downs and encouraged Rob to talk. If he didn't know what to say, I asked questions until something got him talking. And then I shut up and listened.


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