Things To Say

My son Josh is gettng married in 13 days--and I keep thinking of a few things I want to say to him.
It's not like our communication will end once he's married. I know that. But, I keep wondering if I've prepared him for this next big step in his life. Did I teach him everything he needs to know so that he can do this?

So what do I want to say to my son?

1. Carry Jenelle over the threshold.
It's ridiculous--obscene--what you're going to pay for rent in NYC. But, it's your first home together. Make it special. When you get back from your honeymoon, don't worry about unloading the U-Haul. Celebrate your life together--and take Jen in your arms and carry her into your apartment and savor the moment.

2. Be willing to say "I'm sorry" first.
You're an interesting blend of your Dad and me. You have your Dad's photographic memory and my quirky sense of humor. His math brains and my love of writing. I hope, like your Dad, you are willing to be the first one to say, "I'm sorry." Early on in our marriage I shut down and held on to my position like a bulldog with a bone. All I did was prolong the anger. I didn't necessarily win. Here's a little something I've learned: Thinking "I'm right" is wrong.

3. Pick your underwear up off the floor--and your toenail clippings out of the sink
You've been living on your own for a few years. And before that, you lived in an apartment with a bunch of guys who didn't care what was laying around. Well, now you're married. It's no longer all about you. And it never was--you just got away with things. Marriage is about two becoming one, but there are still two people living in that NYC apartment, so be considerate.

4. Tell Jen you love her.
Say "I love you" a lot. And then say it some more. Say it with flowers. Say it with notes and say it with hugs and kisses and walks through those city parks that you and Jen like.

You and Jen--this is your once in a lifetime. Make it the best you can. I know you're ready for this next big step in your life.