In Others' WordsIn Others' Words

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Loves Me, Loves Me Not

I was most definitely a good mom one day last week.

I'd surprised my caboose kiddo with a gift she thoroughly enjoyed. "Thank you, Mom! Thank you, Mom!" Christa said again and again, punctuating her gratitude with hugs and kisses.

I was glad Christa liked her "sprizzie" (aka surprize gift.) I was glad she was so grateful too. Later that night, she leaned over, gave me yet another impromptu kiss and said, "Thank you for my gift, Mom."

"You know, you've got to love me when I say no to something you want," I told her with a little laugh. She agreed with her own little smile and another kiss.

But I was only half-kidding.

My daughter--all my kiddos really--love me when I'm the "Yes Mom." And I like to say yes to them. One of my favorite authors, Chuck Swindoll, said if he had to do it over as a parent, he would say yes more often to his children. His reason? There are so many times we have to say no to our children, we should look for opportunities to say yes. My children may not believe this, but I tried to remember Swindoll's admonition to say yes more than no.

But I hope my kiddos love me when I'm "No Mom" and when I'm "Yes Mom." I hope they love me for who I am, not for what I give them. I don't want to be "Monetary Mom"--the one who opens her wallet and says I love you with cold hard cash.

Loves me, loves me not?

I hope my kiddos know the answer to that question whether I'm saying yes or no, whether I'm hugging them or disciplining them, whether I'm indulging them a little bit or having to say, "Sorry, not this time."

3 Comments:

At 3:51 PM, Blogger Nap Warden said...

It's a fine line to walk...I want my kiddos to be happy, but you can't say yes all them time...I just have to keep reminding myself, I am the parent...Sounds like you are doing a good job at it.

Thanks for your comment on sleep. I know that sometimes babies cry, and I tell myself that, but it is so hard to do nothing sometimes...Thanks again for the advice...

 
At 5:03 PM, Blogger regina said...

Wow. I'm so glad you stopped by my blog so that I could find my way here to yours!

This post really struck a cord with me. My daughter is almost 1 yr old and, without going into my whole family-of-origin issues blah-blah-blah, the yes/no/monetary mom thing is of concern to me.

Your paragraph about Chuck Swindoll struck me like a lightening bolt. I love it. I'm going to go search out more of his words of wisdom.

And I look forward to reading more of yours. :)

 
At 6:01 PM, Blogger Beth K. Vogt said...

I'll track down the book title that particular quote came from if I can!
Thanks for coming by MCL!

 

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