In My Words: Balance, Balance, Keep Your Balance

I'm mulling over blog topics last night with my husband. Our conversation went like this:
Me: Maybe I'll post about how writing affects the family.
My husband: That would be a great idea!
OK, then. Glad he had an opinion.
My writing life--my professional life--frustrates my family at times. Not all the time. At least, I don't think so. Of course, I can't ask any of them because they're all in bed while I finish this blog post.
Sigh.
Here's the problem: I work from home.
Yes, there are so many advantages to working from home. That whole no-commute-can-stay-in-my-jammies-thing? Kinda nice on the days that the deadlines gang up on me.
And when everyone else is gone--at school or at work away from home--I can go to my office and get a lot accomplished, writing-wise. And even throw in the occasional load of laundry.
Nice.
But eventually my family comes home. They are no longer working. And sometimes--oftentimes--I still am. This is when frustration kicks in.
Believe me, I try, try, try to walk away from the computer. (Please notice the multiple "trys.") Just because school is over for my 10-year-old doesn't mean the countdown to my deadline stopped ticking. And when my husband comes home, he leaves work at his office. Yes, he may have a few things to finish up on the computer, but for him work and home are separate entities.
For me? Work and home are one and the same.
And therein lies both my advantage and my frustration.
Problem: How to balance being a stay-at-home mom-work-from-home-woman?
Answer: I don't know. You tell me.
Sorry. Although I will take any suggestions.
For me, it is all about balance. I love the photo I found for this blog post. I'm fascinated by that rock balancing on that other rock. I mean, it just shouldn't be able to do that.
And that's how I feel about my life: I just can't do it.
But I want to. And I will.
What I have to remember is this: Finding balance is not a one-time thing. (This is where that photo fails to capture truth.) In real life, balance is more like walking across a tightrope, with constant adjustments in position required to make it safely across to the other side.
 Some days I manage to balance real life (my family) with my writing life. I meet my deadlines and I'm an available wife, mom and friend. Other days? Not so much. I go to bed with a niggling sense of dissatisfaction.
One thing I know is this: I won't quit. I'll adjust and adjust some more until I get it right for the next day. And the next.

In Your Words: Have you found the balance you need for your life priorities? What helps you be available for both your real life and your writing life?

ACFW Tips: Conference Don'ts

Me & Lisa Jordan with Rachelle Gardner, our wonderful agent.

On Tuesday I gave you a quick list of ACFW Dos:

1. Be yourself.
2. Ask questions.
3. Reach out.
4. Have fun.
5. Slow down.

Today I want to share my list of ACFW conference "Don'ts." Go ahead and use them for any conference you might attend: the MBT Storycrafters, Mount Hermon, Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference (and it's sister conference: Southwest Christian Writers Studio), Writing for the Soul.  Let's get started:

1. Don't try and do it all. Do yourself, your roommates and everyone else at the conference a favor and realize there is no way you can go without sleep from Thursday through Sunday. You cannot talk to everyone. You cannot take every workshop. You cannot retain all the information thrown at you, no matter how good it is--and it's all good! Pace yourself. (See #2 of the "Do" list.)
2. Don't put all your hopes and dreams on this conference. Come prepared to pitch. Come prepared to sell your novel with passion because you believe in it like no one else. And then realize that's all you can do: Pitch your story with passion. What happens after that is not under your control. If you don't land a contract or an agent, is the conference a bust? No. You've learned craft. You've connected with other writers. More importantly, if you don't land an agent or you don't win a Genesis, are you a failure? No, no, and no. Remember: God values you because of who you are (His) not for what you do. 
3. Don't compare your conference experience with someone else's. Go ahead and celebrate another writer's success. Don't wish you were them. You have your life story and they have theirs. Don't stare at what they have and overlook what you have. You may be sitting in the crowd this year, but who knows where you'll be next year. And if you're still sitting with me in the crowd--hey, we're a fun bunch! 
4. Don't miss the prayer room. There are the appointment rooms. Tense. Tense. Tense. There's the classrooms where we learn, learn, learn. There's the room where we dine. Noisy, noisy, noisy--but in a good way. Sit back and listen to all the "he saids" and "she saids." There's the bookstore. Dreams. Come. True. In all your comings and goings, take time to slip into the prayer room. It's quiet. It's a place to stop. Refocus on Who created you as a writer in the first place. Take a friend and pray together. Or go alone. Being there just may be the highlight of the conference.

In Your Words: Can you think of anything I've forgotten? Any expectations we should leave behind? Any "don'ts" that we should remember as we prepare for ACFW or any other writers conference we hope to attend?

Survey Says: What You're Thinking About Writers Conferences (Part 1)

ACFW 2010: Wokshops, sure! But loads of fun too!

I decided to take a little survey earlier in August. Thirty-two people responded to my seven question survey about writers conferences. Thank you, one and all!

The respondents represent all corners of the USA--and even Bermuda! (Waving at you, Cathy!) Home states include: Arizona, California, Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Michigan, Minnesota, New York, Ohio, Oregon, Tennessee, Texas and Washington.

The first question asked on the survey was: Why do you attend writers conferences? Possible answers included:

• To learn more about the writing craft and to improve my writing
• To pitch my book idea(s) and/or article(s) to editors/agents
• To network with other writers
• Other

(Don't you just love the "Other" answer on surveys? I do!)

All 32 participants answered the question. Their top reason for going to writers conferences: To learn more about the writing craft and to improve my writing. (71.9% or 23 respondents)


Coming in at as a ve-ery close secondary reason for going to writers conferences: To network with other writers. (68.8% or 22 respondents) 

Note: Before somebody tells me my math is whacky, you were allowed to mark all the answers that applied. 


My take: I always sign up for a writers conference with every intention of attending workshops and continuing sessions. I almost drool over some of the sessions offered. Consider the upcoming ACFW conference:

• Fried Brains and Ham (j/k): Unclogging that Writer's Block by Jenny B. Jones
• Blogging, Branding, Marketing and Publicity by Shannon Vannatter
• All Glammed Up! by Susan May Warren
• How to Write a Bestseller by DiAnn Mills
• Sometimes It's Better to Tell than Show by Erin Healy

The funny thing is, I rarely make it to those sessions. Why? I'm usually caught up networking with other writers. I'm brainstorming elevator pitches. Praying with friends before they head off for their 15 minute appointments. Having coffee (well, tea for me) with friends that were merely smiling faces in avatars on my computer screen. One way I deal with missing workshops: I invest in the conference recordings so I can listen to them back home.

Three respondents said the reasons listed for attending writers conferences--learning, pitching, networking--were equally important. I think that's one of the challenges of a conference: competing values. You can't do it all because, contrary to popular belief, you do have to sleep sometime. 

In Your Words: Why do you attend writers conferences? Do you have a favorite not-to-be-missed conference? Or is there a conference you're hoping to get to soon? Any fun memories of writers conferences past?

Social Media: It Really is about Relationships

At first, I was a not-so-enthralled social media participant. I already had enough to do, thank you very much. Writing. Editing. Shampooing my hair. Rinse. Repeat.
But the almighty "they" tell me that to succeed as a writer I need to engage in social media. Facebook. Blog. Tweet. Comment on others' blogs. Google+. I know the list goes on, but, hey, I have a word count.
What made me embrace the concept of social media? When my friend and social media guru, Edie Melson called writers and social media a "match made in heaven," I listened. Edie believes "Writing is all about building relationships--with readers, editors, agents, other writers--and what better vehicle than social media?"
When a package arrived in my mailbox today, I had proof positive that social media builds relationships. The package came from author Keli Gwyn, a writing friend I've yet to meet face-to-face. (But the ACFW conference is only a few weeks away!) So how have Keli and I become friends? You guessed it: social media.
We've retweeted each others' blog links, left comments on our blogs, and we also both participate in the WordServe Water Cooler blog.
So what did Keli send me? Two boxes of Atomic Fireballs. Why? On a Flashback Friday blog post, Keli reminisced about penny candy. She mentioned some of her favorites were Sweet Tarts and Tootsie Rolls and red licorice ropes. In my comment, I recalled trying to keep Atomic Fireballs in my mouth without spitting them out.
Back to today, and the arrival of two boxes of Chewy Atomic Fireballs. Keli had found them in her old time candy store, thought of me, and sent them my way.
Like I said: Social media really is about relationship.
You read someone's blog.
Retweet their link.
Leave a comment.
Build a relationship.
And, you never know, you just might end up with a sweet surprise in your mailbox.


In Your Words: Has social media helped you develop relationships with other writers? With your readers? Have you had any unexpected surprises, thanks to tweeting or commenting on someone's blog or Facebook page? If someone asked you why they should get into social media, what would you say?

In My Words:A Writer and Time -- Who's in Charge?

First a little fun: I also blog with a multi-talented group of writers over at the WordServe Water Cooler. What brought us together? We are all represented by WordServe Literary. My agent is the fabulous Rachelle Gardner. Today's my first time blogging over at the Water Cooler. I hope you stop by and read my post: The Writer's Life: On the Edge of the Cliffs of Insanity. 

Clutter is a sign of genius, right? Right?

That, my friends, is an unretouched photo of my desk. If I'd "touched" it for the photo,you would be looking at some clean-to-the-extreme desk.


But then there would be no visual for this blog post.


I could give you lots of reasons why my desk is such a mess. I could confess there are times my desk is messier. I could claim genius status, hence this is merely a sign of that reality. I could reveal one of my nicknames: Bird of Paradise. My dad dubbed me that because he said he always knew where I was because of my droppings.


Ha. Ha. Ha. 


There is one reason, and one reason alone, for such a messy desk: I don't have the time to organize it. I don't make the time.


Right now time is controlling me instead of me controlling my time.


When someone asks me, "So, how are you?" my standard reply is "Busy."
And it's true. I am busy. Some days it feels like my schedule has my by the throat and his hauling me through life, with the scenery whizzing by.


But here's the question: I am a professional writer.

Another question: Does that desk say professional to you?


Wait. I'm sorry I asked that. Maybe I'm being too harsh ...


Look, I don't think that I or any other writer has to live up to some Martha Stewart standard of organization. (Kudos to anyone who does. And you have a standing invitation to come over to my house and clean off my desk.)


For the last six months or so, I've realized that my schedule needed an attitude adjustment. I needed to confront it. Say no more and yes a whole lot less.

• I walked away from a non-fiction critique group that I loved. I'd been a member from it's conception--almost 10 years.
• I embraced (albeit with tears) when God directed me away from longstanding writing avenue in my life. 
• I recognized tonight it's time for another no. The commitment is beneficial to me. But when I look at my priorities--writing my work-in-progress and my editing commitments--it's time to say goodbye to this too. 

Clarification: By "this" I mean another writing commitment--not this blog. Sigh. Poorly constructed sentence. My friend, Sonia, questioned me about it.

And, who knows, maybe I'll find some extra minutes to put the dictionary back on the bookshelf. Load the software on my computer. Throw that Brighton catalog away. Pay for my Good Housekeeping subscription. Make my picks for the fantasy football draft weekend. (Yes, really.) 

In Your Words: So who's in charge of your schedule--you or the unrelenting busyness? How do you decide what you say yes to and what you say no to?

In My Words: When Packing for ACFW, Don't Bring Along Too Many Expectations

Last week, the Alley Cats over at The Writers Alley interviewed Chip MacGregor. I consider Chip the go-to-guy for all things publishing. The founder  MacGregor Literary, Chip knows writing and editing and marketing and agenting like no one else. And, yeah, I like his sense of humor, snark and all.
Chip listed five excellent reasons to attend a writers conference. One sentence stood out to me like a flare shot off into the night sky: The value of a conference depends on your expectations.
A bit of brilliance in nine words.
We haul a lot of stuff with us when we travel to a writers conference. Clothes. Pitch sheets. Book proposals. Business cards.
When you're packing for the conference, do you ever wonder if the hidden load of expectations will push you  over your allowed weight limit?
Just what are your expectations for a writers conference? Specifically, if you're going to ACFW, what are your expectations?
As Chip pointed out in his blog post, it's not about not having expectations. Rather, it's about evaluating your expectations. Hoping an editor will read your manuscript during a 15 minute appointment?  Well . . . expect to be disappointed. That's not what those appointments are for.
So what are some reasonable expectations for ACFW?

• Expect to be tired--but in a good way and for good reason. Going to bed early and sleeping in late is not the reason we attend writers conferences. I mean, go ahead if you want to. If you need to. But realize that most people toss away their notion of time for the duration of the conference.
• Expect to learn. A lot. Oh. My. Word. How do you ever choose between continuing education sessions and workshops and appointments? DiAnn Mills. Randy Ingermanson. Susan May Warren. Jenny B. Jones.
• Expect to be disappointed. (I'm sorry. Somebody had to say it.) It happens. An appointment bombs. You forget your pitch. Or an agent says, "No thanks." Or you don't win the Genesis award. Part of being a writer is learning to deal with the disappointments. To not let them derail you from pursuing your dreams.
• Expect to make friends. You're with other writers. They get you. They speak your language. They want to hear about your story. Does it get any better than this?
• Expect to want to come back next year. Yep, writers conferences are addicting. You're gonna want to do it again. And again. So start saving those pennies and those frequent flier miles. 

 In Your Words: What expectations are you packing for ACFW? What expectations are you making sure don't sneak into your carry-on bag?

In Others' Words: Words

"Among my most prized possessions are words that I have never spoken." ~ Orson Rega Card, novelist

Are there things I wish I hadn't said?

Yes.

Sometimes the words spilled out of my mouth, surprising me almost as much as they surprised the other person.

Sometimes the words were planned. Deliberate. Only once they were spoken did I think, "Why did I say that?"

The words--rehearsed on the stage of my mind--seemed so right. So fitting. But now, under the harsh glare of hurt-glazed eyes . . .well, really, was what I said the right thing to say--or was it more that I wanted to be right?

As the years accumulate in my life-book, I find myself talking less and listening more. Why? Two reasons. The Bible puts it this way: Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise ... (Proverbs 17:28) Works for me.

The other reason? I learn so much--about people, about life--when I choose to be silent. When I choose to listen. 

Do I have things to say?

Sure.

But oftentimes, I realize my words wouldn't have added anything to the conversation--except a bit of a breeze.

In Your Words: What did you think when you read today's quote? How do you handle the power of words? Was there a time when silence was truly golden for you?

Neutral Corner: Six Things I've Learned between Rounds of Editing My Manuscript

Someone just rang the bell on Round Two of editing my debut novel.
That someone was me.
I dragged myself to a neutral corner, where I'll wait for the bell to ring again, signalling the commencement of Round Three.
If you're wondering who won the last round, my manuscript is the one bleeding red ...
Sorry. Lousy editor humor.
And, truth be told, my publisher included a green colored pencil with my manuscript, along with strict "do not use anything but this pencil to make changes" instructions. I dubbed it my "magic" pencil and warned my family not to touch it.
Like a boxer in between rounds, I'm catching my breath and gathering my strength for getting back in the fight. I know there's another round of edits, and I want to be ready. I'm reviewing what I learned as I read through the copy editor's notes. (Think: trainer.) Why make the same mistake twice? Here's a few of my observations while I catch my breath in the neutral corner:

1. Weasel Words can be invisible. We all have words we overuse. Mine are but and just. As a writer/editor, I focus on hunting down and killing those weasel words. However, the copy editor found them alive and well in my manuscript. Gasp! All I can figure is those blasted weasels were invisible.
2. Saying, "I'm not an editor" is a cop-out. You are a writer. You expect someone else to edit your manuscript. Maybe it's someone in your critique group. Maybe you're banking on that sainted copy editor at your publishing house. Sorry. If you're a professional writer, this means you need a basic understanding of book editing. (Can you say Chicago Manual of Style?)
3. It's okay to ask questions--but be nice about it. Even though I'm an editor, I didn't understand all the copy editor's marks on my manuscript. I also didn't understand why she changed some things. The solution? I asked questions. However, I'm aiming for a long-term relationship with Howard Books, my publisher. Alienating my copy editor isn't going to help me win friends and influence people. So when I asked questions, I started off by saying thank you for all the work she'd put into my manuscript.
4. Know your publisher's style standards. Book publishing is governed by the Chicago Manual of Style (CMOS.) Is something italicized? Capitalized? Is the period inside the quote marks or outside the quote marks? Ask the great and wonderful Oz ... I mean, refer to CMOS. You also need to realize that publishers develop their own in-house style standards that may differ from CMOS. Find out.
5. Invest in the necessary tools. I own two dictionaries: both the 4th and the 11th editions of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary. Why? I use the 4th edition when I edit magazines. I found out that Howard Books uses the 11th edition. Time to double-up on dictionaries.
6. Take editing one round at a time. Editing is tough. Exhausting. Sometimes you want to say, "That's good enough" and quit. But just like a prize fighter wants his gloved fist to be thrust in the air as he claims victory, you want to succeed. You want your book to be a winner. You need to go the distance, one round at a time. When the bell rings, go to your neutral corner. Rest up. Review you what you learned in the last round, and be ready to get out there when the bell rings again.

In Your Words: What's your attitude toward editing? Are you ready to jump in the ring and mix it up? Or do you hang on the ropes and wish someone else would fight for you? What tips would you add to my list?

In My Words: The Love of Story & How It Should Affect Your Writing

My husband Rob and I went on a double-date last night, with our daughter, Katie Beth, and our new son-in-love, Nate. We went to The Melting Pot for dinner. Ah, the joys of fondue! And, since this was Nate's first time at the restaurant, it was even more fun to watch him enjoy everything from the  Traditional Swiss and Wisconsin Trio Cheese fondues (first course) to the Flaming Turtle and Yin and Yang Chocolate fondues.
Even better than the shopping and the first-time experience for Nate and the food?
The conversation.
And here's the point of this blog. (It really isn't  about double-dating.)
Our nonstop conversation centered on stories. Remember this ... and Does Nate know about ... and Oh, you don't know about what happened when mom had a kidney stone when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant ... (true story) and Tell Mom and Dad about the time you ...
Last night, as we savored fondue, we loved telling and listening to stories.
People love stories.
We enjoy sharing stories, whether we are the one telling the story or we are listening to someone else recount the who, what, where, when, why and how of the story.
And this fundamental truth--that people love stories--is why we write.
How should this truth affect us as we plot and write and revise our works-in-progress (WIPs)? Ask yourself:
1. Why do you love stories? Sharing stories connects me with friends and family. It's a kind of verbal give and take that bonds people together through memories wrapped in laughter and tears.
2. What kind of stories grab your attention? When someone's talking, what do they say that makes you forget all about that piece of cheesecake waiting to be dunked in the pot of chocolate fondue? When someone opens up and shares from the heart, giving me a glimpse of what they value, that's when they have my undivided attention.
3. When do you disconnect from others' stories? I have stories. You have stories. And yet we've probably all been around someone who thinks she (or he) is the only one who has a worthwhile story to share. So she monopolizes the conversation.When this happens, I mentally tune in to another station.

Now take these three questions and apply them to your writing:

• Why do you love stories? Is it because you feel connected with others? When you write your novel, are you crafting characters and scenes that your readers connect with and care about?
• What kind of stories grab your attention? Are you staying on the surface or delving into heart issues or challenges that your readers are facing in their real-life world? If you want your readers undivided attention, write about reality.
• When do you disconnect from stories? Does your story have depth? Or are they a one-character act--a monologue with minor characters who have little impact?

In Your Words: How does the truth People love stories affect your writing? Answer one, two or all three of the questions in the comment section! Looking forward to learning from you.

In My Words: Looking for Signs Along the Writing Road

When I think of the writing life, I think of a road. One complete with curves. Speed limits. Bumps. Unexpected detours. And, as my writing friend author Jody Hedlund pointed out in her blog post, the occasional traffic jam.
I had a plan--a road map, if you will -- when I set my sights on pursuing writing. Let me rephrase that: I wasn't pursuing writing, I was pursuing publication.
I learned quickly that publication was beyond my control. Pursuing writing -- bettering my skills -- now that was my responsibility, and mine alone. I had to see the writing road as an open road -- not as a series of impassable obstacles.

A possible road sign reminder?  

 No parking. Why? Success requires forward motion, not sitting for so long that my writing attempts are non-existent. Do I want to waste so much time that I could be designated an abandoned vehicle in a tow-away zone? (Okay, work with me here. It's a rough analogy, but you see my point, right?)






There's another lesson I've learned along the writing road: You have to know the difference between learning technique from a more skilled writer and believing the (false) idea that there's only one right way to do things.

A possible road sign reminder?

Here's two: This Way or One Way. "This Way" is what a mentor says when she shows me how to dig deeper into my character. A skilled teacher shows you the "how" and then lets you adapt it to your voice. Consider the words "One Way." How limiting. Only. One. Way. No room for voice. No room for flare. No room for your personal interpretation of how to craft dialogue or develop characters.



In Your Words: What signs have you seen along the writing road? If you had the chance, what sign would you post for other writers? 

In My Words: By Way of Introduction -- Social Media Expert Edie Melson (and a giveaway)

My friend, Edie Melson -- a social marketing wunderkind

Question: How would you feel if you came home from a trip overseas to find out that while you've been gone for the last few weeks, someone published your book?
Not that you wrote the book. Or pitched the book. Or sweated it out while your proposal went to a pub committee.
My friend Edie Melson, an accomplished freelance writer and editor, could tell you exactly how that you've-got-to-be-kidding-me experience feels like--she lived it!
Her bestselling ebook, Social Media Marketing for Writers, was the idea of her publisher, Eddie Jones, with Lighthouse Publishing of the Carolinas. They are also publishing Edie's devotional book, Fighting Fear, Winning the War at Home, later this year.
As Edie tells it, her publisher knew she taught Social Media Marketing to writers at conferences all over the country. He asked her to send him all of her notes so he could evaluate the possibility of doing a book. "The rest, as they say, is history," Edie said.

When I first met Edie, we had an instant heart-to-heart connection. She is one of those rare people that radiates warmth and encouragement. So, okay, I'm biased. But I learned quickly that behind Edie's friendliness was a social marketing savvy woman. Edie knows what she's talking about.
Her introduction to social media wasn't exactly easy.
"It was a sink or swim situation," Edie recalls. "I got a job as managing editor at a Christian magazine for college-age guys. Everyone I worked with was young enough to be my son--and social media is the only way to reach that audience. I had to become an expert or quit my job."
With her success has come a huge sense of accomplishment.
"It's become one of my passions to show others that social networking is nothing to be afraid of. Believe me, if I can do it, anyone can!"
Edie calls social media and writers "a match made in heaven."
"Writing is all about building relationships--with readers, editors, agents, other writers--and what better vehicle than social media? We writers communicate best through the written word," she says. "And social media gives us an unprecedented opportunity to connect with our readers."

Social Marketing for Writers is available on Kindle  and Nook.

Giveaway for commenters on today's post: To give you a sample of the kind of expertise you'll find in Edie's ebook, leave a comment today (including your email address) and I will send you Edie's two-page handout "Learn to Manage TweetDeck to Keep Social Networking in Check." Edie sent it to me when I sent her a "Help me!" email a few months back and said I can share it with my blog followers today. (Thanks, Edie!)

In My Words: How Author James Scott Bell Helped Me Conquer Discouragement

I've met bestselling suspense author James Scott Bell twice.
I don't think he will remember me, but I most definitely remember him.
 Mr. Bell--what, you think I'm going to call him Jim?--encouraged me when I was a newbie-nobody writer. And I've never forgotten him.
More then ten years ago, I attended the Colorado Christian Writers Conference in Estes Park. I'd paid for a critique of a chapter with another established author who was teaching at the conference. I wasn't expecting a "You're on the fast train to the New York Times best-seller list" type of critique, but I didn't expect to have my hopes dashed. Don't get me wrong. The author told me I could write. Told me that my story was good. And then said I needed to change the setting and the time period. Since my story was biblical historical fiction, I was perturbed. Change the setting? Change the time period? I might as well toss my book out. (Caveat: I understood the advice. Biblical historical fiction wasn't selling back then. I just didn't like the advice.)
Immediately after this 30 minute appointment, I had a 15 minute appointment with James Scott Bell. I'd never met him. Never read any of his books--but something in his bio made me think, "He's probably a good person for me to talk to this weekend."
I had no idea.
I walked to the appointment. Sat down.
JSB (the professional author wearing a driving cap): "How can I help you?"
Me (the oh-so-discouraged newbie-nobody): "I don't know why I'm here."
At this point, Mr. Bell could have said something like, "Great! We've got nothing to talk about. I've got 15 spare minutes to go get coffee!"
I wouldn't have blamed him.
Instead, he looked at me and said: "Well, maybe I can help you with that."
And he then proceeded to listen to me talk about the critique, the feedback--and help me unpack it, even giving me suggestions on how I could make my story work, maybe even turn it into a three book series.
Did I follow his advice and go on to writing success, massive royalties and a movie producer optioning my book?
No.
But I learned a lesson: Encouragement is invaluable. It may not solve all your problems. It may not launch you to an instant book contract--but encouragement gives you hope. Encouragement enables you to dust off discouragement, put it in perspective and try again.
I met Mr. Bell again at the 2010 ACFW conference--ran into him in an elevator jam-packed with people. I managed to grab a few seconds as the elevator went between floors to say, "You probably don't remember me but ..." After all the years I finally thanked him for encouraging me.


In Your Words: I am forever thankful that James Scott Bell took the time to speak hope into my life. What about you? Who has spoken hope into your life when discouragement threatened to destroy your dreams?

I seem to have an encouragement theme weaving through my blogs this week. To read about best-selling author Liz Curtis Higgs, who prefers to be known as an encourager, check out my blog post at the MBT Ponderers: 4 Key Truths for Writers from Encourager Liz Curtis Higgs (& a book giveaway).

In My Words: When Life Doesn't Go According to Plan

Used with permission from Debbie Ridpath Ohi at Inkygirl.com. 

I'm diverting from my usual manner of blog post because, well, yesterday was one of those kind of days. Actually, take "one of those kind of days" and multiply it by a gazillion-katillion-whatever-is-the-largest-number-ever-discovered-by-someone-more-mathematically-inclined-than-me.

I had every intention of writing a pithy blog post. And I didn't spend my time reading everyone else's blogs because ... um, that would be virtually impossible. And with yesterday being a day that will go down in history as unforgettable--at least in my memory--I didn't even have time to read my favorite blogs ... sigh.
Enough about me.
I hope you are having a wonderful day, whatever that looks like for you.
And I hope you enjoy the Inkygirl cartoon. A picture is worth a thousand words, don'tcha know. So, if you include a cartoon in that definition, this is really a much longer blog post then usual.


In Your Words: How's your day going? What's your advice for getting over "one of those days?"

In My Words: Write Like a Photographer

My friend Marty, doing what he loves.

I just spent the better part of last week in Bandon, Oregon. The week before that, my daughter got married. Hhhmm. I'm surprised this blog post isn't a series of photographs of my daughter as a stunning bride. (She was. Truly.)
Bandon is the perfect place to go after you've planned and executed a wedding. It was all about being with comfortable-as-family friends. And walking along the beach. And relaxing. And reading. And more walking along the beach.
Oh yeah. And grabbing my camera every time my friend Marty grabbed his much bigger, much more expensive camera and following him, hoping that I might get photos half as good as his.
Marty is a gifted photographer. And as I followed him around and tried to watch and learn (and most definitely replicate his photos!), I gleaned some principles from him that can be applied to writing.

1. Write because you love it. Marty is passionate about photography. All you have to do is look at the hundreds--possibly thousands--of photos he has loaded on his iPad to realize he loves taking pictures. He sees something worth photographing--a certain way the clouds swirl or the color of a rock nestled in the sand--and he gets excited. He starts smiling and clicking and smiling and clicking ... 
2. You aren't going to get it right the first time--and that's okay. I never saw Marty take just one photo of anything. If it was worth photographing once, it was worth photographing several times. Sometime many, many times. The photo at the end of this post? Marty took 155 takes to get the bird in just the right spot. 155 takes. How many times are you willing to rewrite your scene to get it right?
3. Invest in your craft. Marty has spent time and money on his photography. His camera is a top of the line camera. His battery is almost as big as my camera! (Yeah, I'm jealous.). He knows what editing program he likes to use to get the photos just right. I've heard writers say things like, "I can't afford to go to that conference." The real question is: Can you afford not to go to that conference? And if it is not in this year's budget, can you start saving for next year's conference?
4. Focus. Focus. Focus. (Did you really think I'd get through a blog post using photography as an allegory and not use the "focus" word?) I am a big picture person. I like to hang with people who are detail-oriented because they remind me not to overlook the oh-so-needed details. Marty sees the big picture and the details. He knows how to focus large and then focus in--on the smaller and smaller things. When you write, where's your focus? Nowadays it is so easy to have a scattered focus. We're blogging and tweeting and commenting on blog posts and glancing through email and mulling over our manuscripts--all at the same time. Focus. One thing at a time. 

In Your Words: Once you stop gazing at that beautiful sunset photo, let me know what you think about writing like a photographer. And then go friend my friend Marty Osborn on Facebook so you can see some more of his stunning photography!

In My Words: Can't Be Bothered to Blog

Writers must blog. It's been decreed by "them" -- whoever "they" are.(They look and sound a lot like editors and agents.) Blogging is one plank in an author's platform.

My first attempt at blogging was The Writing Road. I've always seen my writing career as a journey along a road, complete with bumps and detours and unexpected bends in the road -- hence, the name. I had great fun blogging and eventually invited two other writing friends to blog with me: Roxanne Sherwood and Scoti Domeij. I covered non-fiction. Roxanne covered fiction. And Scoti, our resident researchaholic, covered all sorts of "How did she find out about that?!" topics.

Despite all the fun we had, the blog never took off. Probably because my main focus was on writing blog posts. Period.

While I knew blogging was part of building my platform, I didn't focus on methodically accomplishing that goal. I kinda figured that I'd blog and people would find me. 

Shortsighted of me, I admit it.

If you're like me, you've got a To Do list as long as the Great Wall of China. You've got to write. And rewrite. (Multiply by ten. At least.) And edit. And critique other writers' stuff, if you're in a critique group. And work on your talk for whatever group you're speaking to next month. And blog. And tweet. And update your Facebook status. And, oh, yeah . . . shouldn't you be posting comments on everyone else's blogs? (I'm ignoring the "real life" stuff for the sake of word count.)

Here's a bit of trivia for you: There were over 156 million public blogs as of February 2011, according to BlogPulse.

Does it ever feel like you're trying to find time to read and comment on every single one?

Once again, the question needs to be asked: What's a writer to do?

Here's my honest answer: I try. 

I retired The Writing Road. The content is still available -- but it is no longer my focus. This blog, In Others' Words, is where I share my love of quotes and my thoughts on writing. I keep my posts brief because, hey, I'm competing with over 156 million other blogs! I also became part of a team of bloggers, MBT Ponderers. Sharing the blog load makes it easier all the way around. And I post on the MBT Special Teams blog -- once again as a team member, not a solo blogger. 

Biggest change: I make time to comment on others' blogs.Some favorites: Amy Sorrells, The Writers Alley, Write Strong, Weaving Influence, Jody Hedlund, The Write Conversation ... 

Yes, there are more -- and  others I haven't discovered yet.

In Your Words: What are your feelings about blogging? Love it? Hate it? Got it under control? Do you have any favorite must-read blogs?

photo by   jaylopez/stockxchng.com

In My Words: Social Media = Me + You and You and You and You . . .

The writing world is all a-buzz with talk of social media. Blogs. Twitter. Facebook. Google+. Vlogs. And plenty of things I'm sure I've missed. The one underlying theme I'm hearing is social media is all about relationships.
Think of it this way: Behind every blog, every tweet, every vlog is a person.
Sounds simple, doesn't it?
But with all the information being thrown at us -- that's what it feels like sometimes -- we can easily forget the personal aspect of Internet.
I signed up for Facebook because I knew it was a good thing to do. As a writer, it helped me connect with other writers -- and family and friends too.
I balked at the idea of Twitter for quite a while, but finally caved because I knew I should. Honestly, I probably retweet (RT) other people's tweets more than I post my own tweets.

Another phrase for social media is social networking. My friend and fellow writer, Edie Melson, wrote an informative article about social networking called "Social Networking -- It's All About the Relationship."

Her perspective began to change my attitude about social media, changing my "have to" attitude to a "want to" attitude.
I'm refocusing my efforts when I blog or tweet or comment on someone else's blog or when I add a Facebook friend or LinkedIn colleague. Here's what I ask myself:

1. Blog posts or tweets: What unique perspective or experience can I share that might help someone else? 
2. Comments: Will my comment on this blog add to the conversation? If yes, then I post. If no, then there's no need to just make noise in a comment box. Confession: If I read a blog and see that there are no comments, I will often comment. I've had my "no comment" days on this blog. No fun.
3. Facebook & LinkedIn: Does this person who has asked to be my Facebook friend have any connection to me, i.e. similar friends? If yes, I add them as a friend. No? Then I don't. With LinkedIn, I like to see a connection with other people or at least a similar career field.

In Your Words: How do you handle social networking? Do you feel connected or over-connected? Do you have any tips for managing all the options?

 photo by schlomaster/stockxchng.com

In My Words: Is There Ever Enough Time to Write?

So, all you writers out there, here's the question: Are you finding enough time to write?
Me neither.
I've been chatting with a new writer. She has a full time job and a family. With all of her commitments, she has one day a week to write. One day. Recently she asked me this question: Is it possible to be published with such a limited amount of time dedicated to that venture?
My answer?
Sure. Not anytime soon--but maybe sometime in the not-too-near future.
Every writer fights the clock. Every writer confronts the reality that there are never enough hours in the day to devote to writing. You have a family who wants to see you. Or friends. You have to eat (or at least make a couple of pots of coffee.) Pay bills. Exercise. (Really, exercise is not optional.) Sleep. Maybe feed your dog or cat or bird or bearded dragon. Maybe you have a "real" job and your boss expects you to work, not do research on your historical novel set in the 1700s.
It's the whole "real life" versus writing life conundrum.
Here are a few ways I manage the clock:

1. Set the alarm clock earlier than normal. Try an hour earlier. Too early? Try 30 minutes. The extra time is writing time--nothing else.No surfing the Net, no reading email, no updating your Facebook status, no writing tweets. 
2. Set a stopwatch when you're writing. My writing buddy, Lisa Jordan, told me about this great online stopwatch. When I want to stay focused, I set the stopwatch and write until it rings. Nothing else--just write.
3. Shut the door on the "real world."  I'm fortunate to have a home office where I write and edit. Sometimes I leave the door open. This means "Y'all come on in and interrupt me." I can't complain when my 10-year-old daughter comes in to talk. When I shut the door, this means "Do Not Disturb." My family knows someone better need medical care if they open the door.
4. Clear your calendar. Becoming a published writer requires commitment. That means saying yes to writing and no to a lot of other things. Take an honest look at your calendar. Are there things you need to step away from? If you're having lunch with friends two or three times a week, you are losing valuable writing time. I'm not saying don't have friends--but maybe do the "let's do lunch" thing once a week. Or once every other week.
5. Make the world--and everything else--go away. Turn off your phone.Shut down TweetDeck. And Facebook. And your email. Distractions will derail your writing. The limited time you'd set aside to finish that chapter will be gone--and all you've have to show for it is a tweet, an updated Facebook status and a fun conversation with your BFF.

In Your Words: How's the time management working out for you? Do you have any tried and true methods for getting enough time to write?

photo by tuareg/stockxchng.com

In My Words: Where are You Along the Writing Road?

I often refer to the writing life as a journey along the writing road. I mention the bumps and the roadblocks, the bends and the unexpected detours. I've even asked other writers what road signs would they post along the writing road. (That's another blog post. If you have a suggestion, email me at beth@bethvogt.com.)

When I first set out along the writing road, I knew where  I was headed. My destination? Establishing myself as a nonfiction writer. My market: magazines. And, with the tried and true method of submissions + rejections + acceptances = real writer status, I "arrived."

Then the road took one of those unexpected turns and I wrote a book. Before that, I had no intention of writing a book--ever. But there was a felt-need for a book on late-in-life motherhood. And I knew that topic, up-close and personal, thanks to an unexpected pregnancy at 41. So I wrote Baby Changes Everything.

And then there was another surprise waiting for me around the bend: I landed a two-book contract for my novels. Me, an avowed I-don't-write-fiction writer.The writing road had taken me somewhere I'd never imagined--and I was thrilled. Flabbergasted, but thrilled.

Enough about me. Let's talk about you.

In Your Words: Imagine with me that your writing life is a journey along  a road.  Are you where you want to be? Have you encountered some bumps along the way? Any detours? Discovered something surprising around the bend? If we were looking at a map together and I asked, "So, where are you headed?" what would you tell me? What's your ultimate destination, i.e. dream or goal, as a writer?

In My Words: Pitch Sheet -- An Essential Tool for Every Writer

Pitch Sheet designed by Martin Graphics

Writers like to talk about book proposals. Well, "like" might not be the correct word. Let's just say writers talk about book proposals a lot. They discuss the key elements of a proposal, the best way to craft their proposal, and when a proposal is ready to be sent off to a publisher or editor.

I've found one thing that writers--especially beginning writers--often overlook: a pitch sheet (also called a one-sheet.)

I'm an advocate for pitch sheets. Why? I pitched my first book, Baby Changes Everything, with nothing more than a bare bones, black and white pitch sheet and my elevator speech. Those two things -- my pitch sheet and my passion for my book-- landed a request for a book proposal and, ultimately, a book contract.

Let's consider the "why" of a pitch sheet and then we'll look at the "how."

When you pitch your book idea to an editor at a writers conference, remember you are not the only writer in the room. Most editors will not ask for your proposal. I've seen it happen--but rarely. Editors don't bring an extra suitcase to lug home a mass of manuscripts. And they certainly don't want to pay the extra baggage fee.

A pitch sheet or one-sheet is just that: one sheet of paper. Most editors have no problem accepting one sheet of paper that contains the basic details of your book idea.

Another advantage of a pitch sheet? It helps you connect with an editor. Do you really want to lose face-to-face time while an editor skims over the first chapter of your manuscript? Correct answer: No. It takes only a few minutes for an editor to glance at your pitch sheet. The rest of your appointment is spent talking with the editor about your novel. You're making eye contact, using your enthusiasm to sell your novel.

So, what belongs on a pitch sheet? Since it's only one piece of paper--and one side of that paper--you stick to the basics:

1. An author bio (Include a photo.)
2. A brief synopsis of your novel (Don't forget to hook the editor!)
3. Information about your agent (And you really need to be agented nowadays.) 
4. Contact info (Address, phone number, email, website)

Consider adding graphics to your pitch sheet, especially if they reflect the plot of your novel. My debut novel, Wish You Were Here (Howard Books, May 2012), has a postcard theme. That's why my pitch sheet has postcards on it. 

In Your Words: Have you ever used a pitch sheet during an appointment with an editor? How did that go for you? What do you include in your pitch sheet?

In My Words: Editing the Editor

I just finished working through the fine line edits and other changes to my novel for what my editor called "clarity and consistency." Since I'm used to being the one wielding the red pen--hence my nickname The Evil Editor (TEE)--it was odd to be on the receiving end of edits. The experience wasn't bad--it was just different.

My editor started off by encouraging me and telling me what she liked about my manuscript. How could I not be willing to at least consider her suggestions for improving my story? And, truth be told, she had some great insights that strengthened my book.

How did I approach making the changes? I broke the job down into phases:

1. Read through the entire manuscript: I wanted an overview of the suggested changes so that I could mull over potential rewrites while I worked on other things.
2. Deal with the line edits first: Why not start with the simple changes first? It was easy to correct things like a missing period or removing an unnecessary comma or italicizing a sentence. After making the corrections, I read through the manuscript again to make certain I hadn't overlooked anything. (I had.)
3. Concentrate on improving clarity and consistency: This phase took more time and mental energy because it involved rewriting small segments of the book or writing some new scenes. I'm not talking pages and pages of rewrites, but I wanted to make certain that what I wrote fit into the book without a hiccup.
4. Check formatting: This felt like I was going behind the scenes of my manuscript. I hit the little paragraph symbol on my toolbar and voila! I could see all the extra spaces and unneeded tabs. With my husband's help, I spent two, maybe three hours cleaning up my formatting. 

So what's next? It's time to push the Send button and return my manuscript to my editor. Then it's fun and games with a photographer while I update my professional photo. (Oh, yes, there will be a blog post about this!) And I know I'll be seeing my manuscript again--with more edits. 

In Your Words: Have you had the chance to work with an editor? How did you approach working through any suggestions or needed changes?